Monthly Archives: January 2016

Entry 525: Major Advances in Dog Technology

Posted on January 31, 2016 by markhal

Well, you won’t believe what scientists have come up with now: dogs that can be made in test tubes! This is a huge breakthrough, because now you can acquire an adorable puppy in much the same way you made sea … Continue reading →

Posted in dogs, humor, pets | Tagged Burmese Mountain Dog, Cornell University, Disco Dog, dog clone, Dr. Pierre Comizzoli, in vitro fertilization, My Friend Again, Rhodesian Ridgeback, sea monkeys, Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute, test tube puppies, test tubes dogs, Tidy Dog, Yorkies | Leave a comment

Entry 524: New Old Stuff

Posted on January 29, 2016 by markhal

As I have done previously in this blog, I want to take this opportunity to bring my readers up to date on some of the latest discoveries dug up by archaeologists around the world. Let’s begin at Stonehenge, that strange … Continue reading →

Posted in ancient civilizations, archaeology, humor | Tagged 2, 300-year-old pretzels, 800-year-old Mesopotamian cell phone, alien cell phone, ancient cell phone, antique beer, Baltic Sea, beer from shipwreck, Chariots of the Gods, Druids, Fuschl am See, Jenga, Mason’s OK Sauce, Stonehenge, Top Archaeological Finds, U.S. Army rations | Leave a comment

Entry 523: The Opposite of “Death-Defying”

Posted on January 26, 2016 by markhal

Here’s something to keep in mind the next time you go to the county fair: about two people a year die on roller coasters. And those fried Twinkies probably aren’t much good for you, either. But getting back to the … Continue reading →

Posted in amusement parks, euthanasia, humor, roller coasters, suicide | Tagged cerebral hypoxia, Derek Humphry, Empire State Building, Euthanasia Coaster, Euthanasia Research & Guidance Organization, fried Twinkies, Julijonas Urbonas, Laura Secorun Palet, Ray Donovan, roller coaster accidents, roller coaster deaths, Six Flags, Tilt-a-Whirl | Leave a comment

Entry 522: Vacation in Beautiful Manitowoc

Posted on January 23, 2016 by markhal

Greetings from the Manitowoc, WI Tourism Council. You may have heard of us because of a Netflix documentary series called Making a Murderer. We’re proud to say that virtually the entire show takes place right here in Manitowoc, and, since … Continue reading →

Posted in crime, culture, humor, television | Tagged avery evidence, Brendan Dassey, ChiaPets, Dartball, Making a Murderer, Manitowoc, Manitowoc Expo Center, Steven Avery | Leave a comment

Entry 521: Free at Last!

Posted on January 22, 2016 by markhal

As I reported in my last post, Tesla, the electric car company, is introducing a vegan model that is manufactured with no animal byproducts. Not to be outdone, Nestlé, the food company, has announced it is removing steel and aluminum … Continue reading →

Posted in candy, health, healthy food, humor, Uncategorized | Tagged Al Pacino, cage-free chickens, cage-free eggs, Chinese take-out, egg drop soup, Epicurious, genetically modified organism, genetically modified sugar beets, glycolipids, GMO, grass-fed beef, Hershey to remove GMOs, Iberian pork, Mr. Goodbar, Nestlé, pata negra, PGPR, phosphatidylcholine, phospholipid, phospholipids, Poland Spring, polyglycerol polyricinoleate, soy lecithin, soybean oil, wild-caught fish | Leave a comment

Entry 520: Eat My Dust (No, Really; It’s Vegan)

Posted on January 19, 2016 by markhal

Well, big news from the automotive industry last week: there were no auto recalls! Ha ha, just kidding. Of course there were auto recalls last week. There are auto recalls almost every week. I don’t remember as many cars being … Continue reading →

Posted in cars, humor, vegan | Tagged auto recalls, Chevy Vega, Elon Musk, longhorn hood ornament. Ultra White, Model X, Naugahyde, Tesla, Uniroyal, vegan interior, Vegan Model | 1 Comment

Entry 519: The Blob

Posted on January 16, 2016 by markhal

Have you heard about the blob? No, I don’t mean the classic movie starring a giant alien amoeba that chases Steve McQueen through the streets of San Francisco until he winds up as a prisoner on a remote island and … Continue reading →

Posted in environment, humor, science | Tagged blobfish, Bullitt, chin puppet, Edward G. Robinson, Joint Institute for the Study of the Atmosphere and Ocean, Monty Python, Nicholas Bond, ocean blob, Papillon, Ridiculously Resilient Ridge, Steve McQueen, The Cincinnati Kid, The Great Escape, ugliest animal, University of Washington | Leave a comment

Entry 518:…And One of the Bedrooms Folds Out

Posted on January 13, 2016 by markhal

If you’re like many Americans today, you’re wondering what you’re going to do with the $1.5 billion Powerball jackpot you’re going to win this evening. Well, first of all, don’t throw a billion dollar party. Because, if you take your … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, Uncategorized | Tagged affluenza, Ethan Couch, Gothic-Tudor, Hugh Hefner, jackpot after taxes, Lamborghini Aventador Roadster, lump sum, Playboy Mansion, Powerball jackpot | 1 Comment

Entry 517: Elementary, My Dear Chemists

Posted on January 11, 2016 by markhal

Hey, everybody, it’s Mr. Sciencemoron, here again to bring you the latest news from the world of science. And this is big news indeed–four new elements! This is a ginormous breakthrough because new elements don’t just come along every day, … Continue reading →

Posted in chemistry, humor, science, Uncategorized | Tagged Donald Trump, dubnium, francium, heavy element, International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry, IUPAC, J.J. Abrams, Kolkata, linoleum, Maguerite Perey, naturally occurring elements, new elements, nuclear fusion reactions, Palladium, Periodic Table, Polymer-solvent Complexes and Intercalates, Proactive, Protactinium, reflective metal, Twinkies, ununpentium, ununseptium, ununtrium | 2 Comments

Entry 516: An Emergency Appeal for TV Dads

Posted on January 8, 2016 by markhal

Dear Friend, I am writing to you today on behalf of Fathers Appearing on Retro Television Shows. The primary mission of F.A.R.T.S. is to maintain the wholesome image of old-timey TV dads. You know, the bumbling fellows with minimal personality … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Alan Thicke, Andy Griffith, B&O Railroad Museum, Bill Cosby, Boy Meets World, Bryan Cranston, Dick Van Dyke, Die Hard. Tim Allen, Disney Channel, Family Matters, Family Ties, Fred MacMurray, Fuller House, Girl Meets World, Growing Pains, Home Improvement, Hugh Beaumont, Joel Higgins, John Goodman, John Lithgow, Last Man Standing, Malcolm in the Middle, Michael Gross, Miley Cyrus twerk, Reginald VelJohnson, Ricky Schroeder, Robert Reed, Robert Young, Robin Thicke, Roseanne, Salvage-1, Silver Spoons, Stephen Collins scandal, The Brady Bunch, The Dick van Dyke Show, Third Rock from the Sun, Tim Allen cocaine, TV dads, William Henry Cosby | Leave a comment