Monthly Archives: September 2016

Entry 591: Flip or Flop or Love or List Fixer Upper Brothers

Posted on September 30, 2016 by markhal

Over dinner the other night, my wife Barbara was telling me about her sister’s home renovation project. She was waiting for a general contractor to provide an estimate to install new hardwood flooring throughout. “What’s the problem?” I asked. “Should … Continue reading →

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Entry 590: Dear God

Posted on September 26, 2016 by markhal

The Times of Israel reports that the Israeli Postal Service (motto: “Neither snow nor rain nor any other kind of tsuris stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds, although they do take the day off for … Continue reading →

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Entry 589: Be On the Lookout for Ronald McDonald

Posted on September 23, 2016 by markhal

In February of 2014, I reported on an alarming trend: America was running out of clowns. We were down to one clown for every 125,000 Americans. It reminded folks of the severe humor shortage of the 1950’s, when anyone wearing … Continue reading →

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Entry 588: Zodiac Killers

Posted on September 19, 2016 by markhal

Boy, am I pissed! Apparently for 62 years, I’ve been carrying buckets of water around for no good reason. This according to NASA, which has determined that the Earth’s axis has shifted so that it no longer points in the … Continue reading →

Posted in astrology, humor, Uncategorized, zodiac | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Entry 587: Massa Chews Its

Posted on September 16, 2016 by markhal

Google has released what it calls a list of the most frequently misspelled words in each state. Here it is: Alabama – Tongue; Alaska – Hawaii; Arizona – Diarrhea; Arkansas – Leprechaun; California – Desert; Colorado – Beautiful; Connecticut – … Continue reading →

Posted in humor, language | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Entry 586: That’s a Great Idea, Jong-Un

Posted on September 12, 2016 by markhal

Damn it! Once again my retirement plans have been thwarted! As I’ve previously reported (at the links that follow), I considered retiring to Newark, NJ, but then Newark was rated 150th on a list of 150 places to retire. I … Continue reading →

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Entry 585: My Fingers Only Walk on Keyboards Now

Posted on September 9, 2016 by markhal

The other day, when I took my dog Riley out for a walk, I noticed a large plastic bag under my mailbox. Inside where two soft cover books, one of about 90 pages, the other of almost 700. The pages … Continue reading →

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Entry 584: Upper Births

Posted on September 6, 2016 by markhal

My wife Barbara would really like to start having grandchildren. One of our friends had a grandchild recently and was proudly passing the poor kid around to all the other women in the room, and Barbara was like, “I want … Continue reading →

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Entry 583: Four Reasons to Just Stop Eating

Posted on September 1, 2016 by markhal

Welcome to The Food Network’s new series, “YUCCK!”, the show that brings you up-to-date on all the horrible things people are eating these days. This episode begins with fake meat! I’m not talking about the kind of fake meat I … Continue reading →

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