Lately, hardly a day goes by without another famous American man getting fired, or resigning, or being accused of some horrendous act or acts against women that makes normal people go, “Why would somebody do that?”
But that’s all over now, thanks to Time Magazine’s Person of the Year, who, it must be noted, has a severe multiple personality disorder. Unfortunately, some countries haven’t received the memo.
Czechoslovakia, for instance.
That’s where a nuclear power plant in the small village of Temelin premiered a unique way of awarding internships. You might expect that you’d need a very specific set of attributes to work in a nuclear power plant, and you’d be right. Especially if the attributes look good in a bikini.
The plant actually had high school graduates pose for photos in bikinis and hard hats and posted the pictures on Facebook, asking users to vote for their favorite. The winner would receive a two-week internship.
I know, I know–that’s outrageous, isn’t it? Letting somebody with a mere high school diploma work with nuclear fission? Have these people never seen what happens in public school science labs?
Ha ha, just kidding, ladies. You still have your senses of humor, don’t you? Obviously, this whole idea was horribly sexist. I mean, what if a guy wanted that internship? How good do Czech men look in bikinis?
Just kidding again, and please don’t hurt me.
Actually, my first thought upon seeing this story was to wonder just how popular nuclear power plant internships are that they could get away with this sort of competition. After all, if you’re going to work hard getting people coffee for little or no pay, wouldn’t you prefer to do it someplace with lower levels of radiation?
I tried to find other write-ups about this, so I Goggled “nuclear” and “bikini” and was immediately reminded that this ill-conceived contest wasn’t only offensive to women; it was offensive to history buffs. That’s because the United States conducted a bunch of nuclear bomb tests in the 40s and 50s at a place called Bikini Atoll. Which goes to prove that, whenever you have the words “nuclear” and “bikini” in the same news story, it’s not likely to end well.
Now, I don’t know if the Person of the Year had anything to do with this directly, but a public outcry forced the nuclear power plant to almost immediately delete its post. “We didn’t want to offend anyone,” the company said. “The purpose of the competition was to promote technical education. But if the original vision raised doubts or concerns, we are very sorry.”
Yeah, sure. And the Czech is in the male.
Butt in China…
The Communists, of all people, held a Most Beautiful Buttocks competition. We always picture the Red Chinese in those green uniforms with the little caps, but it turns out they look good in thongs, too! Even the women! I know what you’re thinking and, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what the winner, Gao Qian, did for the talent portion of the competition, nor do I know where exactly they placed her tiara.
And Back in California…
It seems like you don’t have to be in the entertainment industry to make the workplace a living hell for women. You can do it in a bank, too.
That would be the Banc of California, where, a lawsuit alleges, a top executive transformed the bank’s Irvine, Calif., offices into “a sleazy playpen, coercing young female employees into having sex while also encouraging the bank’s workers to do drugs in the office.”
Sounds like a good news/bad news sort of thing.
Even worse, the bank screwed employees out of their bonuses last year. And cooked their books. And spelled “bank” incorrectly.
This possibly does not bode well for Banc of California Stadium, future home of the Los Angeles Football Club, which plays soccer. And that’s just as well. Because given what was going on in their offices, their luxury box at the stadium would have been quite the spectacle, and might have distracted fans from watching all the soccer people running back and forth.
In conclusion, it’s clear that Time Magazine’s Person of the Year still has some work to do.
See you soon.