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My short story collection, ‘Faker’s Dozen,” is now available
Monthly Archives: April 2019
Entry 859: Yeah, But Game of Thrones Doesn’t Have Any Androids
Dear HBO, I know you’re all caught up in the excitement of the final season of Game of Thrones, but can I just ask–what the hell happened to Westworld? You’ve just announced that our favorite fatal theme park, which we … Continue reading
Posted in humor, television
Tagged Curb Your Enthusiasm, Dolores, Game of Thrones, HBO, Larry David, talking octopus, Thandie Newton, The OA, The Sopranos, Titanic, Westworld, Yul Brynner
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Entry 858: Things I’ve Learned About My Granddaughter
Well, my granddaughter Sydney turns 11 months old tomorrow, and I’ve spent enough quality time with her to get to know her really well. For instance . . . >Sydney is very easily impressed. She appears to be in awe … Continue reading
Posted in humor, parenting
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Entry 857: Good New Food
I have written often about my distrust of new food–that is, food that wasn’t around when I was growing up, or that you never saw in restaurants until a couple of decades ago. Some of it, like Chilean Sea Bass … Continue reading
Entry 856: God Bless You, Mr. Cavoukian
The other day, Mr. Cavoukian was on my daughter’s phone. And he was singing. I know what you’re thinking, and you’re an idiot. I didn’t say Doctor Cavoukian and, in any case, you’re thinking of Dr. Kevorkian, the suicide guy, … Continue reading
Entry 855: Maybe I Don’t Want to Be Found
Every Saturday morning, I get an email from LinkedIn. “You appeared in 13 searches this week!” the subject line said recently. The number of searches is always different, depending on how many people had tried to find me. Thirteen was … Continue reading
Posted in humor
Tagged Custom Interface, FBI Most Wanted, LinkedIn, U.S. Army, Vietnam war, Vladamir Putin
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Entry 854: There’s a Kid Under There Somewhere
In a new poll by The New York Times and Morning Consult, 75 percent of parents reported that they had made appointments for their children, like for doctor visits or haircuts. You probably think those are low percentages. After all, … Continue reading
Entry 853: Kanpai!
Here’s a profound question for you to ponder today: how come you expect Swiss chocolate to come from Switzerland, but not Swiss cheese? I was thinking about this late one evening while driving home from my bi-weekly poker game, an … Continue reading
Posted in humor, liquor, poker
Tagged blended scotch, Chivas Regal, Hakushu, Hibiki, Japanese scotch, Japanese whisky, Macallan, Oban, scotch, single malt, Suntory, Yamazaki
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Entry 852: Wanted People Wanted
Apparently America has a criminal shortage. I know–that’s hard to believe when you look at the rate at which President Trump’s inner circle has pled guilty to stuff. But I’m talking about criminals who are difficult to find, as opposed … Continue reading
Posted in humor
Tagged Donald Rogers Smelley, FBI’s 10 Most Wanted, Greg Alyn Carlson, James Earl Ray, Jerry Ray James, Jesse James, Jesse James Caston, Jesse James Gilbert, Jessie James Roberts, Lamont Stephenson, Osama Bin Laden, Rafael Caro-Quintero, Richard Nixon V-sign, Sandra Bullock, Ted Bundy, Whitey Bulger
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