Monthly Archives: December 2017

Entry 723: The Future Writes Again

Every year or so, right around this time, I’ve been receiving letters from future me, reassuring present me that my personality will not get any sunnier as time goes on. This year’s letter from the future, however, wasn’t from me … Continue reading

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Entry 722: It’s My Party (and I Can Cry if I Want To)

Nikki Haley, our Ambassador to the United Nations, is throwing a party next week. She’s inviting some of the most important and powerful countries in the world: Guatemala, Honduras, the Marshall Islands, Micronesia, Nauru, Palau and Togo. Often, these sorts … Continue reading

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Entry 721: Christmas Morning at the White House

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Entry 720: Gloom to the World

Have you ever noticed that Christmas is the only holiday with its own genre? I mean, there’s no such thing as Labor Day music. And an Easter movie marathon would pretty much consist of airing Easter Parade for 24 hours. … Continue reading

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Entry 719: Miracle on Kolcular Street

I’m so sorry to bring this news to you, especially at this time of year, but apparently Santa Claus is dead. I know this because they’ve discovered his tomb. Now, you probably think that, if Santa was real, and dead, … Continue reading

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Entry 718: The Wide World of Swine

Lately, hardly a day goes by without another famous American man getting fired, or resigning, or being accused of some horrendous act or acts against women that makes normal people go, “Why would somebody do that?” You have to admire … Continue reading

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Entry 717: Holiday Gifts for People You Don’t Particularly Like

Around this time each year, I perform a service for my readers by curating a collection of unusual holiday gifts for your unloved ones…detestable folks for whom you are obligated to buy a present. It’s not about giving them something … Continue reading

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