Monthly Archives: May 2015

Entry 457: Instagramma

Posted on May 31, 2015 by markhal

So my cleaning lady just showed me a picture of her new grandchild, born yesterday. I looked at it. I couldn’t help but look at it with her cell phone shoved in my face. It was a baby, all right. … Continue reading →

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Entry 456: Flagging Interest

Posted on May 27, 2015 by markhal

Greetings, fellow Earthlings. Have you realized that we’ve managed to live on this planet for hundreds of thousands of years–or 6,000 years if you’re one of those creationist morons–without an essential item? Sure, we have water. Unless you live in … Continue reading →

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Entry 455: Save Money With Toilet Paper, Vinegar and Walnuts

Posted on May 23, 2015 by markhal

There are lots of places on the Internet where you can learn how to use common household items in ways they weren’t intended to be used. Some of these tips are for the obsessively thrifty, others are for folks with … Continue reading →

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Entry 454: Welcome to the World, Enclava!

Posted on May 19, 2015 by markhal

GUARANTEE: The following is all true. I know all my readers will join me in offering a heartfelt gratulacje! to the people of the Kingdom of Enclava, the world’s newest country. I say gratulacje so as to speak in one … Continue reading →

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Entry 453: You Should Live So Long

Posted on May 17, 2015 by markhal

Back in September of 2013, I wrote about a gentleman in Bolivia named Carmelo Flores Laura who, at age 123, was believed to be the oldest living human being. Not only that, he was widely-considered to be the oldest non-Biblical … Continue reading →

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Entry 452: Dear Fellow AOL User…

Posted on May 12, 2015 by markhal

Have you heard the news? Verizon is buying AOL for 4.4 billion dollars, and I think I speak on behalf of all AOLers when I say that we are appalled! After all, AOL users have an almost pathological resistance to … Continue reading →

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Entry 451: What’s Your Dog’s BQ?

Posted on May 8, 2015 by markhal

Dogs, like humans, can be subject to stereotyping. Just as not all Canadians are good at hockey, not all poodles are brilliant intellects. Just as not all Republicans are pro-life, not all King Charles Spaniels would like nothing better than … Continue reading →

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Entry 450: E.T.– Stay Home

Posted on May 6, 2015 by markhal

There’s been a lot of news lately about aliens. Suddenly everyone is yelling about having found, or how likely we are to find, alien life forms. For instance, complex organic molecules were recently discovered about 455 light years away, hiding … Continue reading →

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Entry 449: Get Ready to Par-tay!

Posted on May 3, 2015 by markhal

Well, I hope you’re well-rested, because this week is one of the most festive ones on the calendar, jam-packed with joyous celebrations. The highlight, of course, will be Tuesday. That’s Cinco de Mayo, which falls on May 5th this year. … Continue reading →

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