Monthly Archives: May 2015

Entry 457: Instagramma

So my cleaning lady just showed me a picture of her new grandchild, born yesterday. I looked at it. I couldn’t help but look at it with her cell phone shoved in my face. It was a baby, all right. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Entry 456: Flagging Interest

Greetings, fellow Earthlings. Have you realized that we’ve managed to live on this planet for hundreds of thousands of years–or 6,000 years if you’re one of those creationist morons–without an essential item? Sure, we have water. Unless you live in … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Entry 455: Save Money With Toilet Paper, Vinegar and Walnuts

There are lots of places on the Internet where you can learn how to use common household items in ways they weren’t intended to be used. Some of these tips are for the obsessively thrifty, others are for folks with … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Entry 454: Welcome to the World, Enclava!

GUARANTEE: The following is all true. I know all my readers will join me in offering a heartfelt gratulacje! to the people of the Kingdom of Enclava, the world’s newest country. I say gratulacje so as to speak in one … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Entry 453: You Should Live So Long

Back in September of 2013, I wrote about a gentleman in Bolivia named Carmelo Flores Laura who, at age 123, was believed to be the oldest living human being. Not only that, he was widely-considered to be the oldest non-Biblical … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Entry 452: Dear Fellow AOL User…

Have you heard the news? Verizon is buying AOL for 4.4 billion dollars, and I think I speak on behalf of all AOLers when I say that we are appalled! After all, AOL users have an almost pathological resistance to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Entry 451: What’s Your Dog’s BQ?

Dogs, like humans, can be subject to stereotyping. Just as not all Canadians are good at hockey, not all poodles are brilliant intellects. Just as not all Republicans are pro-life, not all King Charles Spaniels would like nothing better than … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment