Monthly Archives: July 2016

Entry 574: Wait a Second…

I sure hope this has been a good year for you, because, if it hasn’t, you’re going to have to suffer through it a bit longer. That’s because the people in charge of time have decided to add one second … Continue reading

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Entry 573: New Lows in Getting High

When I was growing up in the 60’s, we heard about all kinds of weird ways to get high. People sniffed airplane glue. They smoked banana peels. They licked toads. My friends and I were only 15 in 1969, so … Continue reading

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Entry 572: Where to Be Old

Well, our retirement plans just got completely upended! The website WalletHub has released its rankings of the 150 most populous cities for retirement desirability, and the very last city in the rankings is Newark, NJ. Now where are we going to … Continue reading

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Entry 571: But Which Bathroom Should They Use?

On numerous occasions, I’ve devoted blog posts to issues related to all the various genders that have popped up in recent years.* When I was a kid, we only knew about three types of humans: men, women, and stooges. But … Continue reading

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Entry 570: Don’t Forget to Flush

In the five years I’ve been doing this blog, I’ve spent what some readers might think is an inordinate amount of time covering various ways to dispose of dead bodies. I don’t mean the “take the gun, leave the cannoli” … Continue reading

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Entry 569: Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself…

So I was scrolling around the AOL home page one day when I saw this headline: The Biggest Mistake You’re Making When Introducing Yourself and my very first thought was “Using my real name?” I don’t know what this says … Continue reading

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Entry 568: Worm Sperm

People are always asking me, “Mark, how do you get ideas for your excellent and often hilarious blog posts?”* Well, folks, some ideas come from stupid things I encounter personally, while others come from stupid things I see on TV … Continue reading

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