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My Book: Kids Are Dumb; Parents Are Dumber!
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Monthly Archives: December 2011
Entry 86: A Letter from the Future
December 29, 2036 Dear Remaining Living Friends: Oy! We’re just finishing one of our “big change” years that occur every quarter century or so, and boy does my back ache! Also my knees, shoulders, elbows and several internal organs, what … Continue reading
Entry 85: Marking Our Territory
Our house is on a light-bulb-shaped cul de sac. Not the new kind of light bulb that sort of spirals and takes its sweet time coming on while you wait in the dark, but the old kind that is no … Continue reading
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Tagged driveway markers, landscapers, snow plow, snow removal
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Entry 84: Cho, Cho, Cho (With a Hard, Phlegmy “CH”)
My family is Jewish, but we don’t really practice, which could be why we never got very good at it. My parents were not Orthodox, Conservative or Reform Jews. They were Ambivalent Jews. My father, for instance, would observe Yom … Continue reading
Entry 83: Nothing Upstairs
Can you think of any movie where something good happens in an attic? I can’t. The attic is always where some idiot goes to “see what that noise was” and the next time you see his face it’s hanging from … Continue reading
Entry 82: An Ass-Backwards Way to Make New Friends
When you move to a new town, it’s always a good idea to get to know as many people as you can. Some folks join groups associated with houses of worship, or local trade associations, or the neighborhood satanic cult. … Continue reading
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Tagged colonoscopy, red shirt, Stamford Hospital, Star Trek, Tully Health Center
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Entry 81: Not-So-Great Expectations
People are always asking us, “Why Stamford?’ It would be easy to answer with statistics about property taxes and home prices, or to mention the proximity to New York City or the low crime rate. But, really, what more is … Continue reading
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Tagged Adamsville, Berrien Springs, Bobby Valentine, Boston Red Sox, Brenham, Canyon Lake, Castroville, Christmas pickle, Clermont, Frannie, Gilbert, Glendale, Hallmark Hall of Fame, Hastings, Johnny Cash, Kingsland, La Crosse, Littleton, Palmdale, Patterson, Reno, Santee, stamford, Stanberry, Wabash, Wenatchee
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Entry 80: Our Next Move
It may be a little too soon to be thinking about this, considering we just moved into our current home in May, but I think I’ve discovered the next place I want to live. Or, more accurately, NASA has discovered … Continue reading
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Tagged color wars, Entertainment Weekly, kepler-21b, kepler-22b, NASA, stamford, United States Postal Service, USPS
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