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My short story collection, ‘Faker’s Dozen,” is now available
Buy now in Paperback or for your Kindle
Monthly Archives: November 2019
Entry 916: Thanks for Nothing
Because of circumstances that I cannot reveal,* we could not have certain people that we love dearly join us for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. So we had our big family dinner last Sunday and, let me tell you, Fakesgiving is the … Continue reading
Posted in holidays, humor
Tagged Bill DeBlasio, Chris Cuomo, David Dobrik, Elon Musk, Felicity Huffman, Fred Cox, Fredo, Libra, Lori Loughlin, Lorne Michaels, Mark Zuckerberg, Matt Lauer, Mike Pence, Nancy Pelosi, Nerf football, Rudy Guiliani, sexiest men alive, Tesla window, Thanksgiving Parade
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Entry 915: As Easy as L, M, N
I woke up one morning recently to find, much to my surprise, that the internet was working. This was shocking because people–usually powerful women–are always breaking the internet. Halle Berry, for instance, is so strong she broke the internet using … Continue reading
Posted in humor
Tagged Elemenopy, Halle Berry abs, Kim Kardashian, new alphabet song, This Old Man
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Entry 914: Mild Kingdom
Way back in the days when people used to watch TV on television sets, there was a show called Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Basically it was nature documentaries interspersed with commercials for insurance. We watched it because we didn’t … Continue reading
Posted in humor
Tagged 720 sexes, Ben & Jerry’s, blob, Bovril, Caring Dairies, Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey, happy cows, Hellman’s mayonaise, Heracles inexpectatus, Keebler elves, Monty Python, Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom, Paris Zoological Park, prehistoric parrot, squawkzilla, Stranger Things, Unilever
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Entry 913: Total Non Recall
We are all familiar with the question first proposed in the year 1710 by the philosopher George Berkeley in his seminal work, A Treatise Concerning the Principles of Human Knowledge: “But, say you, surely there is nothing easier than for … Continue reading
Entry 912: Broken Windows
Like a baby boomer parent who’s sick of their adult child living at home until they find a “fulfilling” job, Microsoft is ending its support of Windows 7 in January. Unlike the baby boomer parent, software companies have a very … Continue reading
Posted in computers, humor, technology
Tagged Bill Gates, BlackBerry, end of life software, iPhone SE, Spider solitaire, Windows 10, Windows 7, Windows XP
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Entry 911: Dreaming of a White (House) Christmas
This is the time of year when our mailbox is stuffed with catalogs beseeching us to begin our holiday shopping early so that, on the day after Christmas, these companies can tell us about their 30-day return policy. Well, I, … Continue reading
Posted in holidays, humor, politics
Tagged 2019 White House Christmas Ornament, Bill Clinton M&Ms, Byers Choice Carolers, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Herbert Hoover, How to Draw the Presidents, Nancy Reagan, Presidential Soap Collection, Ronald Reagan Jelly Beans, Thanksgiving turkey pardon, White House fire, White House Gingerbread House, White House Historical Association
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Entry 910: The Tux Stops Here
I have only worn a tuxedo four times in my life: my bar mitzvah, my first wedding, my second wedding and my daughter’s wedding. What can I say? It’s not my fault that I never get invited to awards shows. … Continue reading
Entry 909: No Time Like the Present
Well, tonight we turn our clocks back, which once again raises the question: Who the hell are we to mess around with time? This might be a good time (HAH!) to remind you that we didn’t even have time before … Continue reading
Posted in humor
Tagged Allegheny Time, Central Pacific Railroad, change clocks, Columbus time, daylight savings time, George Hudson, Lake Shore and Michigan Southern Railway, LS&MS, Northern Pacific Railroad, Pennsylvania Railroad, PFtW&C, Pittsburgh Fort Wayne and Chicago Railroad, Santa Fe Railroad, Southern Pacific Railroad, Standard time, Standard Time Act of 1918, time zones, Union Pacific Railway, Wallula Junction
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The Upsizers 