Monthly Archives: June 2015

Entry 467: Twenty Questions

Posted on June 28, 2015 by markhal

I could look most of this stuff up, but that’s way too much work. So I’ll just ask you. 1. Why is it that, whenever you pause a TV show while someone is talking or moving, they always look ridiculous … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged “ Gettysburg Address, “Four score and seven years ago, crocs, Ed Sullivan, Edward G. Robinson, Election Day, freeze frame, hail sizes, Joyce Mitchell, Mike Huckabee, motorcycle, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Neil deGrasse Tyson, NOAA, plate spinning, prison escape, redundant phrases, Rick Santorum, screen grab, tongue twister, voter turnout, woodchuck | 2 Comments

Entry 466: Confederate Flack

Posted on June 26, 2015 by markhal

Well, big news for the textile industry this week, as lots of orders for the confederate flag pattern have been canceled. With Walmart, Amazon, eBay, Target and even Etsy banning the sale of anything showing the Stars and Bars, all … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Amazon confederate, Civil War, Civil War memorabilia, Confederate flag, confederate t-shirts, Dylann Roof, eBay confederate, Etsy confederate, militaria, Sears confederate, South Carolina flag, South Carolina Statehouse, Stars and Bars, swastika, Target confederate, Walmart confederate | 1 Comment

Entry 465:…And We’ll Be Using White Baseballs

Posted on June 23, 2015 by markhal

I don’t often cover sports in this blog, but I do love baseball, and so I thought I’d mention a recent milestone in the annals of the sport. I’m not referring to the fact that my beloved New York Mets … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged "Bellies and Baseball, All-You-Can-Eat Night, ” pregnant women night, Back Hair Night, baseball promotions, Brooklyn Cyclones, Caucasian Heritage Night, Cosplay/LARPing Night, Faith and Family Week, Flowers Foods, free liposuction, Hispanic Heritage Night, Homemaking Night, Jeanetta Williams, Lake County Captains, Los Mets, Los Owlz, Mahoning Valley Scrappers, Mets camouflage, Military Mondays, NAACP, Negro League uniforms, New York Mets, Orem Owls, Orem Owlz, Rachel Dolezal, Wonder Bread | Leave a comment

Entry 464: Money Shot

Posted on June 19, 2015 by markhal

Well, election season is upon us again, so don’t forget to vote over the summer. Of course, I’m not talking about choosing our next president; this election is for something really important: Who’s going to be on the $10 bill. In … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged $10 bill, Alexander Hamilton, Alice Paul, Andrew Jackson, Betty Crocker, Carrie Chapman Catt, death care industry, Dick Cheney, Eleanor Roosevelt, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Harriet Tubman, Harry Whittington, Hillary Clinton, Lena Horne, Princess Leia, Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony dollar, Tea Party, Texas Funeral Service Commission, U.S. currency, woman on $10 bill | 1 Comment

Entry 463:

Posted on June 17, 2015 by markhal

(Headline Left Blank in Memory of V.A. Musetto) V.A. Musetto died last week. You probably never heard of him. But you may be familiar with his work. He had a long, distinguished career in journalism, or at least as distinguished … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged best newspaper headline, headless body in topless bar, Rupert Murdoch, The New York Post, The New York Times, V.A. Musetto, Vincent Albert Musetto | Leave a comment

Entry 462: Broken News

Posted on June 15, 2015 by markhal

Memorandum To: The New York Post From: Mark Hallen Re: Your front page of June 15, 1915 I wanted to make you aware of a few things. 1. Game of Thrones is fictional. The events depicted in it do not … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Game of Thrones, GOT finale, house of Lannister, house of Stark “Headless Body in Topless Bar”, New York Post front page | Leave a comment

Entry 461: One More Reason to Keep Your Clothes On

Posted on June 13, 2015 by markhal

Welcome to The Wide World of Nuts, where we report on some of the wacky things coming out of legal systems in faraway places. As Americans, you are encouraged to read this so you know that there are even dumber … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Cleland Ayison, frivolous lawsuits, Jamek Mosque, Kaley Cuoco, Kuala Lumpur, lawsuits in China, Malaysia, Malaysian earthquake, man sues actress for staring, Mount Kinabalu, Supreme People's Court, tourists cause earthquake, tourists strip naked, U.S. Federal Reserve note, William Dimitrouleas, Zhao Wei | Leave a comment

Entry 460: There’s a Squeaker Born Every Minute

Posted on June 8, 2015 by markhal

Well, I bought my puppy Riley a new toy. My wife Barbara will be happy to tell you that this, in and of itself, is not a remarkable event. Me getting Riley a new toy is about as rare as … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged dog toys, Hear Doggy, Shelties, shetland sheepdog, squeaky toy, ultrasonic range | 1 Comment

Entry 459: How Do You Know the Next One’s Not Early?

Posted on June 6, 2015 by markhal

There has been a lot of talk in the New York Metro area recently about subway delays. Lately, the causes of such delays have gone beyond the usual “signal problems” and “bodies on the tracks” to more exotic causes like … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Lexington Avenue subway, New York Metro, Second Avenue Subway, straphangers, subway announcements, subway delays, subway tokens, Tears for Fears, The Train to the Plane | Leave a comment

Entry 458: May I Suggest a Stationary Bike?

Posted on June 2, 2015 by markhal

Well, you may have heard that Secretary of State John Kerry was injured recently while taking part in sensitive negotiations. He was trying to negotiate the roads in Scionzier, France. On a bicycle. And he got into an accident. Although he … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Barracuda Networks, Cervélo bicycle, Holowesko, John Kerry, Kerry bike accident, Scionzier, Secretary of State | Leave a comment