Entry 522: Vacation in Beautiful Manitowoc

Greetings from the Manitowoc, WI Tourism Council.

You may have heard of us because of a Netflix documentary series called Making a Making-a-Murderer[1]Murderer. We’re proud to say that virtually the entire show takes place right here in Manitowoc, and, since the series has become so popular, we’re sure you’ll be wanting to pay us a visit.

So here are a few things to keep in mind when you do:

1. Bring your whole family! We’re very family-oriented here in Manitowoc. In fact, most of us are related to each other.

2. Leave room in your suitcase to take home some genuine Manitowoc used stripesauto parts. We’re known worldwide for our salvage yards, and you’ll want to take advantage of our famously low prices on bumpers, steering wheels and so forth, some of which have possibly genuine Manitowoc blood on them.  Sometimes you can even find car keys just laying around!

3. Be sure to buy plenty of souvenirs. You’ll find “Black and white stripes is the new orange”beard t-shirts; ChiaPets that grow beards like Steven Avery had when he got out of jail; “Wish You Were Here” postcards with photos of our beautiful prison cells; and much more. Best of all, it’s easy to haggle with all our shop owners because everyone here in Manitowoc is really, really stupid.

4. For the full Manitowoc experience, stop by the police station to be interrogated and go home with a video starring you…with no lawyers to steal the scene!

5. There’s lots to do for teenagers, too. Just ask Brendan Dassey, Steve Avery’s cousin.

6. Manitowoc is pet-friendly! We especially love cats!team

7. Be sure to visit the Manitowoc Expo Center, where there’s always something exciting going on, such as our Dartball Tournament, when competitors play baseball with darts! Really!

8. Smokers take note: You can apparently smoke everywhere in Manitowoc.

9. Don’t forget one of the best things to do while in Manitowoc: go to Green Bay!

map10. Finally, please keep in mind that members and friends of the Avery Family are not the only people in our prisons. As of January 22, 2016 we have 180 prisoners, and they’d all appreciate a visit from a complete stranger. You can find a full list of current inmates on our website, along with their cell blocks, ages, genders and races, so you can make friends with the one that sounds like a perfect match!

We can’t wait to welcome you to Manitowoc!

See you soon.

Advertisements
This entry was posted in crime, culture, humor, television and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s