Time Magazine has published a summary of President Trump’s first year in office. I haven’t read it but, unless you really can’t tell a book by its cover, I’m guessing the story is not exactly complimentary.
Trump himself was WYSIWYG–what you saw during the campaign was pretty much what you got: an asshole. After the election, those of us reeling in disbelief were hoping that it was a charade to appeal to the idiots at his rallies, that he couldn’t possibly be that much of a schmuck, that he’d display at least a little bit of restraint once he was in office.
None of that happened. If anything, he gave us more of everything we hated about him.
Last January, I was sincerely willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, to give him a chance to prove us wrong about his jerkosity. Perhaps cooler heads would prevail, I thought. Maybe he would surround himself with wise, experienced advisors. Of course, he did just the opposite, with Bannon, and DeVos and Sessions, to name but a few. He quickly rooted out anyone capable of rational thought and informed opinions. They’re gone now. Hiring them in the first place might be the only mistake Trump would admit to making.
I think one superlative statement he could make about his presidency without any hyperbole whatsoever is that he has sent more tweets than any president in history.
And he almost made it through the whole year without referring to entire nations as shitholes.
In fairness, though, he did accomplish quite a bit:
- He managed to offend most of the world, in a wide variety of ways.
- He resurrected Frederick Douglass. And Alec Baldwin.
- He accused the previous president, a gentleman to whom Trump compares favorably only in hair density, of wiretapping him.
- He failed to recognize parts of his own country.
- He mentioned that he had seen a prominent TV host “bleeding badly from a facelift.”
- He invited another lunatic leader to join him in a steel cage deathmatch.
- He attained full employment in America, at least among his family.
- He enthusiastically endorsed both police brutality and white supremacy.
- He played lots of golf.
- He canceled global warming due to weather.
- He pretty much decided that the NFL was an enemy of the state.
- He banned entire groups of people from entering the country and terrified millions of people who are already in the country, all while acting as a shining example of what it means to be an American.
- He single-handedly destroyed the concept of a “slow news day.”
- He did not invite any porn stars to sleep with him (that we know of).
- He firmly established that news was fake and lies were facts.
- He created a new benchmark for mental stability that may make us reconsider what we think about Jeffrey Dahmer.
And that’s just what I could think of off the top of my head.
Perhaps his biggest achievement, given many predictions that were made as he took office, was that he made it through his first year at all.
And, even more shockingly, so did we.
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