BONUS NEWS FLASH POST: Emmett Kelley is Crying

Today we should all put on our sad clown faces. Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey emmett-kelly1Circus has announced it will cease to exist after its final shows this May.

Feld Entertainment, owners of the Circus, stated that declining ticket sales are the reason for the closure. But regular readers of this blog know the real reason: clowns are to blame. Last year, I reported on the epidemic of scary clowns giving clowndom a bad name. And in 2014, I wrote about our nationwide clown shortage, which has been exacerbated by the trend of clowns leaving the circus to join the new administration in Washington.

While most news reports about the closing have focused on the rich heritage of the circus, or the recent battles with animals’ rights activists, or the loss of yet another great tradition, no one is focusing on the looming economic effects:

1. Young people will no longer be able to run away to join the circus, so they’ll stay at home longer and sponge off their parents who, if we’re being honest, probable weren’t that well off in the first place. I mean, how often did you hear about the heir to a fortune becoming an apprentice lion tamer?

ringling-brothers-and-barnum-bailey-circus-clown-mug-cup-souvenir-mug-6711bdc76b5b16c1e5a9fc0721aa2d2912. Many industries will suffer tremendous setbacks. I’m sure Jim Cramer will be telling us not to invest in trapeze manufacturers, or those companies that make clown mugs.

3. Ringling Brothers is shutting down both its touring companies, each with 462 employees. Where are those people going to find other jobs? True, the folks who have been cleaning up after the animals may find work, since most corporations need shit shovelers, but what about everyone else? If all you’ve got on your resume is “trick camel camelrider” or “human cannonball,” what’s next for you?

Yes, it’s a sad day indeed.

See you soon.

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One Response to BONUS NEWS FLASH POST: Emmett Kelley is Crying

  1. Pingback: BONUS POST: More Thoughts About the Circus | The Upsizers

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