Entry 472: Free Nude Photos of Hot Women and Their Credit Cards

Also naked hot men. And average-looking people baring all. Not to mention butt-ugly, um, butts.

According to a telephone survey of 1,000 Americans conducted by MasterCard, 55 percent kar[1]of us would rather have our nude photos leaked online than have our financial information stolen or compromised. Not surprisingly, even a larger percentage of younger folks (who sociologists call “millennials” because they were born after 1986 and “Generation Z” sounded like a zombie movie), would like to have their nude photos displayed all over the Internet.

After all, 20-somethings have a lot less to be embarrassed about than us 60-somethings (who sociologists call “old people”).

I’m just kidding, of course. Researchers call us “the new 40’s.” Which is fine, I guess, unless it delays my Social Security for 20 years.

Getting back to the MasterCard survey though, it raises a question that I’ve asked before in this blog: Why do so many people have naked photos of themselves?

When I last addressed this pressing issue, I was talking about celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton and Caley Cuoco whose accounts had been hacked. But, assuming that MasterCard surveyed the general population of the entire country rather than just the general population of Southern California, one has to be concerned about America’s predilection toward exhibitionism.

I get that exposure of the photos is less important than exposure of the financial information. After all, if something of yours is going to show up sagging or abnormally small, you’d rather it not be your bank account.

But I can’t help wondering…

  1. Why does MasterCard want to know about our naked photos?
  2. If we send our naked photos to MasterCard, can we get airline miles?
  3. Was it really that easy for the pollsters to find 1,000 upstanding Americans of all ages who have nude photos of themselves floating around out there?
  4. Or was the question asked hypothetically, like when they ask voters if they prefer lead_960[1]Bernie Sanders or Lindsey Graham, as if that match-up could actually happen?
  5. Are there nude pictures out there of Bernie Sanders or Lindsey Graham and, if so, how do I make sure I never accidentally come across them?

In Other Tech News…

For some reason, I’ve never been a huge fan of Patti Lupone, but I am now.

At a recent performance of her play, “Shows for Days,” she got annoyed at an audience patti-lupone-is-a-boss-104810[1]member who was texting throughout the show and snatched the phone out of the woman’s hands, all while remaining in character.

Now this wasn’t as great an acting feat as it sounds, since the character she remained in is a theater diva. Nevertheless, I admire her militant stance and wish only that she had found a way to belt the woman in the head while she was at it.

In fact, I think every play should have a line in the script that acts as a built-in way for performers to stride into the audience and perpetrate acts of violence against rude audience members.

Hamlet:

“The lady doth do text too much, methinks.” WHACK!maria

West Side Story:

“I feel pissed off
Oh, so pissed off

I feel pissed off and wrathful and vexed
And I’m coming

To put an end to that endless text…”               WHACK!

And Finally…

Sales of the Apple Watch have fallen by 90% since the opening week frenzy.

One analyst has even suggested that Apple blew the launch by not presenting a “compelling use case.” In other words, the target audience for the device has decided that it’s not worth $349 or more to eliminate all the work involved in taking their phones out of their pockets.

On the other hand (HAH!), it could be that the target audience doesn’t wear watches. Seriously–when was the last time you saw someone under 25 wearing a watch?

It’s just as well that Apple Watch sales are down.  It could be really painful when Patti Lupone rips the watch off your wrist.

See you soon.

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