Entry 471: A Few Things My Puppy Would Probably Like to Ask Me

Back in February, I did a post with questions I wanted to ask my Shetland Sheepdog puppy, Riley. Now, that he has the wisdom of seven months of life, it’s only fair I give him equal time to ask me some things…

looking up smile1. Will you play with me?

2. Why does mommy keep taking away my favorite toy? I like it because it’s leather and it tastes and smells like feet.

3. How come everything I want to chase has superpowers? They fly, or go up trees, or disappear into the ground. Why can’t they play fair?

4. Why can’t I bring that great stick I found into the house?

5. Will you play with me?

6. Could you please stop saying “Riley, come” when I’m in the middle of something really interesting in the neighbor’s backyard?

7. When we’re on a walk and some idiot says, “Oh, look, a miniature collie,” could you not launch into a 10-minute sermon about shelties? Just say “yes” and let’s get on with our lives.brook

8. Also when we’re on a walk, instead of saying “Riley, heel” all the time, how about you make the tiniest effort to keep up? I’ve got places to be, man!

9. When I go into the stream to chase bubbles, why don’t you come in with me? It’s fun!

10. How come you usually like it when I jump on the bed and cuddle with you, but not after I’ve been out in the rain?

11. Since I love little children so much, why don’t you and mom get some for our house?  What do you mean, “Not gonna happen”?

12. Why do you sit at your computer most of the day instead of playing with me?

13. Why do you always pick up my poop? It really grosses me out when you do that. And what do you do with it anyway? Do you have a collection of my poop somewhere? Is it valuable?

14. I really like those pizzle sticks you give me sometimes. What are those made of? No, really. Seriously? Ewww!

bath15. If I’m already in the chair, why don’t you go sit somewhere else?

16. Are baths really necessary?

17. If you don’t like when I follow you all over the place, why did you get a herding dog?

18. I keep hearing you and mommy talking about me “going in for a snip and chip.” What is that exactly? What do you mean, “I don’t want to know”?

19. Why do you get so upset when I catch a moth?tonguesmile

20 Will you play with me now?

The trouble with having a smart breed of dog is they have so many questions.

See you soon.

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