Entry 400: Coming Soon–Entry 450

Well, here it is…my 400th post. And how fortuitous that it occurs exactly on New Year’s newyearEve!

Yes, that’s right. Like most Americans, I’m celebrating holidays in advance. I’m already wayyy past Thanksgiving!

Americans do everything in advance. That’s why Black Friday will start on Thursday. Why the store I went into the week before Halloween was playing Christmas music. Why, before screening Interstellar, the theater showed coming attractions for movies not opening until next May. Why there’s already somebody running for president in the 2016 election.

Why are we so forward-thinking about stuff like that, and so backward when it comes to everything else? Compared to many other civilized countries, we’re way behind in the way we deal with health care, education, women’s rights, guns, even vacations. But we’ll put in for a personal day months in advance of the next iPhone being released, so we can stand on line outside the Apple store.

I have one client that starts selling each year’s release in April of the previous year, which means I have to start writing about it in December of the year before that. For me, it’s been 2015 since December, 2013. That’s like losing two years of my life!

I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m 61 (well, I will be in February), but it seems to me we shouldn’t be rushing things so much. Can’t we enjoy the results of this year’s election before we start thinking about the one two years from now*? Do we really have to wonder if an outstanding acting performance in a film we see in March will win an Academy Award the following February? Can’t we savor a nice meal before we have to order dessert, even though the restaurant says it needs extra time to make the chocolate souffle?

What is it with us?

Are we so dissatisfied with the way things are today that we’re constantly anticipating hosetomorrow? Have we received any indication whatsoever that tomorrow is going to be better? Sure, you’re eagerly awaiting that garden hose you ordered that fits in your pocket, but, really, you’re just going to get your pants wet.

With President’s Day almost upon us, I think we should slow down. Take time to smell the Glade Hawaiian Breeze Air Freshener before you start looking forward to changing the refill to the Cashmere Woods scent. Try to figure out what the hell happened to the last American Idol** before you get ready to vote for the next one. Play Candy Land with your three year old before starting the resume for hisglade college applications.

However, if you’re a fan of the New York Jets, Jacksonville Jaguars, Oakland Raiders or Tampa Bay Buccaneers, you can begin waiting until next year.

See you soon, and have a nice Easter.

P.S. My book, Kids Are Dumb; Parents Are Dumber, makes a great gift for Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, so order now!  (Also a terrific stocking stuffer for any parent.)  Just click the book cover at right to order!

*Okay, maybe “enjoy” isn’t the right word.

**Caleb Johnson. Remember him? (I had to look it up.)


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One Response to Entry 400: Coming Soon–Entry 450

  1. Vinny says:

    So agree with this one Mark. Hate seeing Christmas decorations in early November. Do I have to start buying Halloween candy in May now? Happy 400!

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