Entry 338: The Wedding Blog Part XVIII: Words of Wedding Wisdom

Well, things are winding down for now, and we suspect there won’t be much to do for awhile. We have to get the invitation list, along with the exact invitation wording, to the invitation lady. I have to go get fitted for a tuxedo, remembering to wear sneakers when I do because that will be the footwear for the event. At some point, we’ll have to assemble the gigantic jigsaw puzzle that is the seating chart.

Until something else happens, I’ll be returning to my regular twice-a-week rants. But before I do, I want to leave you with some quotes that were actually uttered by me, my wife Barbara, my daughter Casey, and my future son-in-law Alex as we planned their October wedding. Some of these statements are wise, others are stupid, and still others I don’t know what the hell they are.


Casey On Expenses, the Guest List, Gifts, Etc.

“You can’t have too many Excel spreadsheets.”


Me on Timing

On February 19, Barbara came into my office with a stack of printed labels to put on the goody bags which will be left at the hotel desk for out-of-town guests. They had Alex and Casey’s name, and the date of the wedding. “Very nice,” I said, and she took them back to her office, very pleased with herself.

“You know,” I called after her, “there’s no chance you’ll remember where those are eight months from now.”

Barb: “Yeah, I know.”


Casey on Honesty

To Barbara, after Barb asked her to add a few things to the registry: “It’s a registry, mom. We’re not running a scam.”


Barb on Religion

During a lull in planning activities, my mind wandered to the smallest of items. I asked jennifer-lopez-green-dress-versace[1]Barb if we needed to provide yamulkas for the ceremony. I knew I wouldn’t wear one in any case, because they won’t stay on my head unless I use the same glue celebrities use to hold on their Versace dresses.

Anyway, the question prompted the following exchange (my apologies in advance to observant Jews):

Barb: It’s not a Jewish ceremony. We’re not even having a rabbi.

Me: But there’ll be a huppah and Alex is breaking a glass.

Barb: Still, I don’t think you need yamulkas unless you’re in front of a torah.

Me: Well, some people wear them all the time.

Barb: Yeah, but they’re ridiculous.


Barb on Parental Wisdom

“Things would be so much easier if Casey realized I’m always right.”


Casey on Unexpected Expenses

Her Facebook post, early in the process:

“Just got my first email ever from the cell phone company saying I used my allotted voice minutes this month and am now using roll over minutes. Sadly, I think this is mostly due to my increase in phone conversations with my mother this month.”

(Mark’s note: Or maybe AT&T was charging by the decibel level of the screaming.)


Barb on Footwear

In response to Casey asking if she can wear the Tieks shoes they bought for the wedding at the SXSW festival: “Over my dead body.”


Me on Footwear

After Alex decided that the entire male side of the wedding party would wear his signature New Balance sneakers: “That is entirely inappropriate for a formal affair. I’m wearing Reeboks.”


Casey and Alex on Vows

Alex and Casey (who’s a film teacher) thought it might be fun to use movie quotes as their vows.

Casey picked an exchange from Jerry McGuire, where Alex would say “I love you. You complete me,” and she would say “You had me at ‘hello’.”

Alex chose a quote from Glengarry Glen Ross: “We’re adding a little something to this month’s sales contest. As you all know first prize is a Cadillac El Dorado. Anyone wanna see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you’re fired.”

The vows still need a little work.


Barb on Name Recognition

In thinking about the wording for invitations, Barb wondered aloud what Alex’s middle name was. I knew the initial, M, which prompted the following from Barbara:

“Hmm, Michael? Max? What other M names are there?”

It would have been nice if “Mark” had come to mind.


Me on Invitation Design

Casey was considering wedding invitations that were based on a Monopoly game board. I offered this opinion: “If a wedding invitation is going to resemble a board game, shouldn’t it be Risk?”


Casey on Registry Items

Casey’s Facebook post: “Alex is reading a Reddit thread about people making impulse purchases of things they always wanted as kids. If anyone sees one of those giant parachute things from gym class show up on our registry, please do not buy it for us….”

Added Facebook post: “Or a Lego Millenium Falcon kit…”


Casey on These Blog Posts

After reading #XV: What’s For Dinner: “funny—liked it. especially since it made mom look nuts”


P.S. The wedding, as regular readers know, will be at the Norwalk Aquarium. Below, courtesy of our friend Deb, is a photo of Casey (center, with the red hair band) on a class or day camp trip to the aquarium about 20 years ago. Hopefully she’ll have a happier face in the wedding photos.  See you soon.CaseyatMaritimeCenter1

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2 Responses to Entry 338: The Wedding Blog Part XVIII: Words of Wedding Wisdom

  1. Barbara says:

    The picture was from Jonathans birthday party. Alex Saltis and Jenna Lazar to Caseys left.

  2. deb says:

    Great post — laughed out loud!!!!

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