BONUS POST: Have a Sad Mother’s Day

For this bonus post, I really just want to talk to the fathers out there. So if you’re a mother, please stop reading now so I can speak to your spouse about SOME REALLY SECRET HUSBAND STUFF. Thank you, and please come back Wednesday when I’ll have a new wedding post.

Okay, so it’s just us guys now, right? Great. Let me ask you…what did you get your wife for Mother’s Day?

There are, of course, two schools of thought on this. You could take the “She’s not my mother” approach and leave the gifting to your child.

On the other hand, you might be thinking that it would be somewhat uncomfortable to spend an entire Sunday, and possibly quite a few additional days, having your wife glower at you with that “You did something incredibly stupid but I’m not going to tell you what so see if you can figure it out on your own, you idiot” stare.

So you get her a gift. You might even say, with a wink, that it’s from your child, as if your 5-year-old went to a jewelry store and purchased that necklace to go with the macaroni-and-Elmer’s-Glue masterpiece she made in kindergarten.

But there is a third option. Simply remind mom of the true meaning of Mother’s Day. You can confidently inform her that she probably doesn’t even qualify. That’s right. The fact of the matter is, there are two pre-requisites for being honored on Mother’s Day. You not only have to be a mother, you have to have lost a child in a war!

Seriously. Bet you didn’t know that. Turns out the origins of Mother’s Day go way back to the years after the Civil War when there were meetings of mothers of sons who had died on opposite sides. And when Mother’s Day became an official holiday exactly 100 years ago in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson declared it to be a day for American citizens to show the flag in honor of those mothers whose sons had died in war.

He then set about creating a lot more honorees.

So you see, Mother’s Day is really a somber occasion, one intended as a tribute not to women who have raised children, but to women who have lost them.

If you and your wife have lost a child in a war, please accept my sincerest condolences and appreciation for your child’s ultimate sacrifice. If you have not, you and your family should celebrate the day by hanging a flag and, perhaps, joining hands in a moment of silence or prayer.

And don’t worry; she’ll speak to you again sometime before Father’s Day.

See you soon.

An early observation of Mother's Day.

An early observation of Mother’s Day.

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