Entry 257: Great News for Our Economy

Just in time for Labor Day, I’m happy to report that, after spending much of the millennium mired in a monetary miasma, the unemployment rate has been reduced to 0% among a demographic that is crucial to our economy.

That key demographic is 25-30 year olds…who are my daughter’s friends.

And when I say “our economy,” I don’t mean “our” in the national, American sense as much as the more local, “my wife and I” sense. These are people for whom we’ve provided quite a bit of food over the years.

Yes, this group of stalwart twenty-somethings, for the first time in their not-really-that-young lives, are all gainfully employed simultaneously. They have become productive members of society…if, by “productive,” we mean “spending less time looking at cute cat videos online.”

What’s more, most of them are working more or less in their chosen fields, although an alarming number of them would have trouble explaining what those fields are, or what they actually do for a living. When I ask my daughter Casey, I get responses like, “Oh, he does something with computers” or “She does something with textiles.”

It’s possible that they’re all secretly doing something for the NSA.

But, really, who cares? The point is, they’re working. If someone is paying them to carefully monitor your Facebook account and report the drunken, cross-dressed photo of yourself you foolishly posted, so be it.

Since Casey has always tended to hang out with arty types, and went to an art college with particularly sub-standard pre-law, pre-med and MBA programs (if, by “sub-standard” we mean “non-existent”), there are no doctors among her friends, but neither are there lawyers or investment bankers. This group may not be life-savers, but at least they’re not leeches. They’re also not likely to become obscenely rich, or members of Congress, or residents of minimum-security prisons.

They are full-fledged consumers now, contributing to American businesses such as Amazon and Apple. Well, maybe “such as” is the wrong phrase; they’re contributing primarily to those two specific businesses. Go by an Apple store at any time of day or night, and you’ll see them in there, milling about, picking things up and putting them down again, as if they’re just waiting for the Genius Bar to have happy hour.

It’s consumerism at its best.

Anyway, what’s important isn’t whether or not they’re buying things, it’s that, when they do, they’re buying them with their money. This is absolutely critical to our economy, speaking once again in the “my wife and I” sense.

I don’t know if this new prosperity is, as the young people say, “trending” among the general populace of 25-30 year olds who are not my daughter’s friends. But I want to congratulate Casey and Alex and the other Alex and Tara and Jim and Dillon and Nikole and Beth and Mary and everyone else. I wish them nothing but happiness and success.

But I also want to point out that they owe our economy a nice dinner.

See you soon.

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