In my post of October 16, called “Our Table’s Waiting,” I wrote about the difficulty we were having finding a dining room table for our new house. Toward the end, it said:
So today we’re going to see our next table. Barbara has already seen it and liked it, so we may actually purchase it, so we can get started going through the same ordeal picking a chandelier to go over it.
Well, we did purchase that table. A couple of weeks later, after an equally exhausting search, we found a chandelier we liked. It came, and we got Rob the electrician to install it.
At the end of October we custom-ordered a new car, a Toyota Camry Hybrid. It was the first time I had ever not bought a car off the lot, because I’m not the most patient person, and I know how long it can take to get a car from the factory. But no one had Camry Hybrids on their lots, at least not in the red color Barbara prefers so that she can find the car in a parking lot if she remembers that she was driving the red Camry that day, and not the white Acura SUV.
Anyway, I put down $1,000, took a deep breath, and prepared myself to wait a long time for the car. We got it the week before Christmas.
Some of you may be scratching your heads about now, wondering if you somehow missed the segue between the table and the car. Don’t worry; you didn’t. I just brought up the car to emphasize the absurdity of the fact that we still don’t have the table.
To recap: it has taken about two months longer to build a table than to manufacture a new car. And the table’s not even a hybrid.
It’s also not an old-world, hand-carved masterpiece of a table we’re talking about here. There is no filigree, no feet shaped like lion’s paws, no hidden compartments where we can stash important historical documents until Nicholas Cage finds them in the next National Treasure movie.
It’s just a Parson’s style table. A table with a square leg at each corner.
Well, the store, Stickley Audi in White Plains, called last week to say that the table would be delivered tomorrow. Unfortunately, it’s going to look terrible in our dining room, because it will be accessorized by our old dining room chairs, which come about as close to going with our new dining room table as I ever came to going with the cute brunette on WKRP in Cincinnati back in the 70’s.*
You probably think we were silly not to order matching chairs when we ordered the table. You possibly think we’re silly for all sorts of other reasons, too. But you see, we did order chairs when we ordered the table. Then, two and half months later, Stickley Audi told us they were no longer made in the color we wanted. So we had to order different, more expensive chairs, which meant that the waiting time for the chairs was out of synch with the waiting time for the table. Hopefully they will arrive before we no longer need chairs because we will be rolling up to the table in our Jazzys, which can no doubt be manufactured much faster than the chairs can, and which also, by the way, probably get better gas mileage than our Camry Hybrid, although it probably takes them a couple of hours to get from zero to sixty.
But let me set your mind at ease: Even though we have gone three and a half months without our new dining room table, I haven’t gone without dining.
I’m sure you’re relieved.
See you soon.
*Yes, while everyone else (including Burt Reynolds) was ogling Loni Anderson (the blonde), I was smitten with Jan Smithers (the brunette). I also liked Kate Jackson better than Farrah Fawcett. Possibly, in my demented young mind, I thought the brunettes would be more attainable. Or maybe I went for big brains over big, um, hair.