I have been told that getting your wife a ladder for Christmas is not the world’s brightest idea. I have been told this by my wife.
Now before I am besieged by angry comments from women everywhere, and perhaps an Occupy the Big New Kitchen in Stamford movement, let me say a few things in my defense:
- The ladder was one of many gifts Barbara received (although possibly the only one in the right size).
- It was one of those super-duper, heavy-duty, Transformers kind of ladders that can be used in 119 positions, many of them safely.
- Barbara had long coveted this type of ladder.
- It was not the cheapo brand of ladder that had famously collapsed while being demonstrated on an infomercial.
Nevertheless, it was probably not the best choice of gifts, and possibly not appropriate for Barbara to open a present with a note that said, “After all those years of watching Lexus holiday commercials, I can finally say that this goes with the gift that’s waiting for you in the garage,” and have it turn out to be the tool platform accessory for the ladder.
On the other hand, we’re homeowners now, damn it, and my wife should be more appreciative of hardware-related presents!
Anyway, it turns out that I got to use the ladder first, to see what the gutter cover situation was on the roof (see previous post). It took me about a half hour to figure out how to get the thing extended and in position (this is still the ladder I’m talking about here), with the tool platform in place, and all the tools I thought I might need on the platform. Then up I went, carefully, infomercial in mind, until I was above roof level and could clearly see that there was nothing that I, personally, was going to be able to do about the gutter cover situation. This was because of a design flaw in the ladder, namely that, while it can get you to high places, it doesn’t give you the ability to do anything once you get there.
However, I’m sure the ladder will come in handy in all sorts of situations. And for a number of reasons, I’m almost positive that I’m going to return the chain saw I was going to give Barbara for Valentine’s Day.
See you soon.