Entry 56: Bulletin: New House to Be Destroyed This Afternoon By Falling Satellite

Now that the kitchen is almost done, it is pretty much a foregone conclusion that the dead satellite which is falling from space even as I write this will land on our house.

I know this because of my religious upbringing. My parents were orthodox disciples of the Church of Improbable Calamities, or CIC (pronounced “sick”). Whereas Murphy’s Law states that whatever can go wrong will go wrong, the Church of Improbable Calamities believes that even things that can’t go wrong will go wrong.

So: the satellite is expected to break up into about 100 pieces upon entering the atmosphere, and 26 of those will be big enough so they won’t totally burn up and will reach the ground. Although NASA has ruled out North America as being the recipient of any satellite droppings, they also say that they can’t predict the exact landing location. and that the debris could be scattered over an area 500 miles long.

That’s a big distance, and a lot of pieces. According to CIC doctrine, my house is still in play. NASA also says that the largest piece of satellite is likely to be about 300 pounds. The CIC says that that is the piece that will hit our house.

So if you’re looking for me this afternoon, I’ll be cowering under my desk. I figure if that would have protected me from an atomic bomb in the 60’s, it will be good enough to stave off errant satellite chunks.

See you soon…if anyone remembers to dig me out of the rubble.

UPDATE:  At 11:55 am Friday morning NASA said that because the satellite has slowed, the latest prediction of when the satellite will make re-entry is now late Friday or early Saturday Eastern Standard Time. There is also now a small chance — rather than no chance — of space junk landing in the United States.  Ah, yes, here it comes!

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2 Responses to Entry 56: Bulletin: New House to Be Destroyed This Afternoon By Falling Satellite

  1. Vinny Bond says:

    can’t hear you from under the table in my home…speak louder!

  2. Pingback: Entry 133: Improbable Calamity Syndrome* | The Upsizers

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