Entry 19: Kitchen Nightmares Part I

For the past two months, we have been deeply involved with renovating the kitchen in our new home. And I use the word “renovating” in the sense of those videos you see now and again of an old Las Vegas casino imploding so they can build a new one.

As I mentioned in a previous post, the kitchen is the least attractive part of our new home, a small boxed-in cube of cheap mystery doors, all of which open in opposite directions. There is barely enough counter space for a coffee maker and a toaster oven, much less all the specialized appliances we would like to have room for: single cup coffee maker; panini press; ice crusher; blender; super-powerful blender; food processor; popcorn popper; soft frozen yogurt machine; cotton candy machine; a George Foreman anything; …well, you get the idea.

The oven is too old, the refrigerator is too small; the sink is too shallow; the stove-top is too electric; the dishwasher is too stuck in a corner so you can’t reach the cabinets above it.

So since even before we moved in, we’ve been planning a makeover. We’re knocking down some walls and combining the kitchen and the dining room into a kitching room, or perhaps a ditchen. This entails removing two, maybe three windows, slicing off the front of the house as if it is the end of a loaf of bread, literally raising the roof (well, the ceiling, anyway), ripping out everything including the floors, and putting in all new stuff including, if it fits in the budget, a replacement for the front of the house.

As I said, we’ve been at this project for two months and–funny story–the kitchen currently looks exactly the way it did when we moved in.

Oh, measurements have been taken. Cabinets have been selected, first in white, now in light wood. Appliances have been shopped for. Floors have been chosen, then chosen again. Counter tops have been settled on four or more times.

Plans have been drawn, and redrawn, and redrawn. The new kitchen island has increased in size to the point where it may now be referred to as a kitchen subcontinent.

But no sledgehammer has been lifted in anger.

Those of you who have gone through a kitchen remodeling are laughing now, I know. You are thinking the same sorts of things our friend Adam has told us: “Whatever the contractors say, add 50% of the time and 100% of the budget.”

But I know better. I know that if the second part of that statement is true, the first part won’t matter. Because we won’t be able to afford to live here any more.

Anyway, I’ll provide updates in this space as we go along.

See you soon.

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One Response to Entry 19: Kitchen Nightmares Part I

  1. Pingback: Entry 591: Flip or Flop or Love or List Fixer Upper Brothers | The Upsizers

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