Entry 16: Our House

It occurs to me that I haven’t described the home into which we have inexplicably moved at age fifty-seven.

It is at the end of a cul-de-sac, up a drive-way that is inclined at about a 45 degree angle to ensure many adventures during the winter.

It is a ranch with an unusual feature: lots of steps. There are steps from the driveway to the front door. There are two flights of steps from the deck to the stone patio, and another flight of steps from the stone patio to the ground. There is a flight of steps down to the above-ground finished basement that is so steep the dog won’t go down, even though his favorite person, Casey, lives down there.

The front door is one of my favorite features. It’s a heavy, polished wood with glass panels on either side. Upon entering, if you turn immediately to the left, you enter our least favorite feature, the kitchen.

It’s really not a good kitchen.

It is a smallish square is what it is. There is a doorway on either side. There is a wall of doors with a tiny 1950’s Thermidor oven in the middle. If you remember the old TV show Laugh-in, when they used to pop out of that wall to deliver one-liners, that’s what this is like. When you open a cabinet door, you almost expect to see Goldie Hawn’s head.

The opposite wall has one of those planter windows over the sink which might be okay if Barbara could reach it. There is a skylight. When it rains, the thing makes such a racket you’d think that Nazis were goose-stepping through the kitchen. There are cabinets in the corners that won’t let you open one door unless you open another one first. The counter tops are faux-something; I’m not even sure what material they are supposed to be emulating. There are very few drawers. It doesn’t have one of those slide-out garbage bins, so we have what Barbara calls the “traveling garbage pail” because it’s constantly getting in the way and being moved.

Next to the kitchen is a nice dining room with a bay window. Not for long, though, as we are about to embark on a major reconstruction that will combine the two rooms into one open area into which our money will disappear.

Continuing through the dining room we come to the spacious living room, about a third of which will become the new dining area if we have any money left after the kitchen’s done to buy a table. There is a beautiful view of the woods and sliding doors to a deck, which is built, for no apparent reason, a big step below the door. There is a large marble fire place.

Coming around the other end of the living room we are back in the entry way. We now go down a long, narrow hallway. On the left we pass three bedrooms, none of which are used as such: first Barbara’s office/studio, then the den/guest room, then my office. They are all nice sized rooms, although the movers had a hell of a time getting my throne-like man-chair into the den. (Barbara was rooting against them.)

At the end of the hall on the right is the master bedroom with a large walk-in closet and, as they say on HGTV, an “en suite” bathroom which is small but serviceable. While you were walking down the hallway, you passed the second bathroom and the door down to the basement, which I’ll talk about in another post.

Oh, and if you go out to the deck, watch that large st…oops, please don’t sue me.

See you soon.

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